I’ve got some things on my mind…

 

Well…it’s been a while… I didn’t realize that it’s been almost TWO YEARS since I last wrote on this blog… my apologies. Sometimes I feel like I’m just writing my same fitness story over and over again. But I often hear great feedback when I do write. And if I can inspire just one person, I’ve done enough.

So… as the title says, I’ve got some things on my mind. Hmmm…where do I begin??

Well, a lot has changed in my life since I last wrote. Mainly, I moved to San Diego about a year ago. And I absolutely LOVE IT!!! There couldn’t be a better city to be FIT in! Amazing weather all year round for beautiful, outdoor workouts makes this fit girl really happy!!! I will say that I think I’ve maintained my healthy balance since moving here. I’ve definitely progressed with my fitness, which leads me to the main thing I want to talk about in this entry.

For the past few years, my mind has gone back and forth entertaining the idea of entering a fitness competition… like, a bodybuilding competition. To be more specific, I was interested in the Figure class of the competition. I mean, I love working out and this healthy lifestyle is working out pretty well for me…so why not try to see what my body is capable of doing when I push it to the limit???

In January of this year, I decided that I was finally ready… I had a vacation planned at the end of January and when I got back, that’s when the preparation was gonna start. I was so excited and so ready!!! (Or so I thought.) I consulted with a few close friends who compete at pretty high levels… and I made my final decision to do it! I found a coach, someone I trusted would put my best interests at heart.

Enter week numero uno… I was definitely excited for week one, the beginning of a serious journey that I was embarking on. Was it a challenge? Of course it was… nothing worth having ever comes easy, right? The first challenge came Sunday night (The real start was Monday morning) when I was prepping my food. I thought I was gonna prep for about 3-4 days… HA! That was funny… I barely had enough food for a day and a half. Ok whatever… this is all a learning experience, so it’s all good. I literally went to the store almost every day that first week because if I didn’t need veggies, I needed protein. It was always something that I just didn’t have enough of. At the end of week 1, I consulted with my coach, as most competitors do on a weekly basis. We had a pretty big discussion regarding the class I wanted to compete in… After that long discussion, I decided was going to do Bikini class instead of Figure. With this change, my meal plan changed a bit…and it seemed like it was going to be better. Never, ever did I think I would have a problem eating a lot of food… (After all, the inner fat girl still lives inside me!) But, I must say, it was definitely hard to consume all the necessary meals.

A few weeks go by, my body isn’t changing the way I think it’s supposed to change…but I tell myself to trust the process because there is a science behind these types of things. But then…a meltdown happened… Was I just hungry for some greasy food? Was I just tired? Was I afraid? I don’t know… but it was a bad, bad day… I cried and I binged!!!! I spoke to a couple of my best friends about it… Let me just say, I have THEE BEST SUPPORTERS EVER!!!! They listened to me vent and reassured me that I was just having a moment and I would get right back on track where I was supposed to be. I shook it off… and reassured them that I would. A couple more days go by and I still wasn’t feeling it… I was time to evaluate what was really going on.

Another friend said to me, “If it’s taking away from your everyday life and happiness, it isn’t worth it.” That right there was the key for me… I’m such an advocate for happiness and balance in life. I took some time and just THOUGHT… and CRIED…

If you know me well, you know I have a lot of pride. Over and over again, I kept asking myself, WHY IN THE HELL DID I TELL ANYONE I WAS DOING THIS??? IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER TO QUIT IF I HADN’T TOLD ANYONE!!!

But it ultimately came down to my happiness and my peace. This competition had already taken the fun out of working out for me…and that is usually my favorite part of the day. But now… I had to tell my coach I was a quitter. I hated that… Again, I cried. But his wife, who was pretty much the assistant coach, reassured me that my feelings were normal and that she totally understood what I was feeling because she has felt the same way as well.

So basically, I’ve come to terms with the fact that some may see me as a quitter… BUT, had I continued down that road for the competition, I would have been quitting my PEACE and HAPPINESS. And those two things are FAR more important than a one day competition for me.

Moral of the story: Do what makes YOU happy. Make sure you are at peace with every decision you make in your life.

I will always continue my fitness journey… and I will be HAPPY while doing it.

 

(I know this was long. Thank you so much for reading.)