The Daily Struggle

EB358611-2435-4D25-83C4-0F2F38CB4BDD.jpegSo here we are again and It’s been another long while since I’ve written in this blog. Over a year!!! Dang! It seems that I go through that every time I write. I don’t write for a very long time and I just kind of lose things to write about but here I am today writing about nutrition… MY struggle with nutrition. 

Let me start by saying that I am not really a fan of healthy eating, per se. I have come to learn somewhat how to eat healthy, mainly for health reasons and obviously, to maintain my weight. There have been times when it has been fairly easy for me to be consistent with healthy eating. But it seems that I’ve been struggling for approximately the past six months with getting back on track to a consistent healthy diet. I’ve never had this much trouble getting back on track. Every week I’m starting over. And it never sticks, it’s very frustrating. I don’t know what it is…I’ve tried different diet approaches and I thought this month was going to be different. I got a new workout and nutrition plan that I was excited about. That excitement didn’t last long. The nutrition plan was based on macronutrients aka “macros.” I’ve tried to follow macros before and it was hard…very hard. Being a picky eater doesn’t make it any easier. (Thanks Mom! Hahaha) There is no reason that everyday eating should be so difficult and stressful, since I’m not a professional athlete/trainer/competitor. I like having a good balance of being healthy and indulging in wonderful junk food!!! 

So…after STRUGGLING last week trying to follow a macro diet…I’ve decided that the best way for me to try and eat healthy is to take all the extra thinking out of it. 

Is there a science for getting certain kinds of results when paired with working out? Definitely. But ultimately, like I stated before, I’m not a professional, I’m not getting paid for how I look…I just want to be healthy and comfortable with how I look. 

So…with all that being said, I just want you all to know that I struggle with healthy eating. A LOT. And I feel that a lot of people can relate. Sometimes it’s because I’m thinking way too hard about it and maybe I’m thinking way too hard about getting certain results. So now I just need to take it day by day and make healthy choices that doesn’t require rocket science. Don’t let someone tell you that one way of eating/dieting is better than another. Find what works for you, what makes it easier for you, and what you can enjoy most. 

Until I’m getting paid to look a certain way, I will continue to eat all the wonderful foods that I enjoy!!! 😁

Comparisons will kill you…

Comparisons will kill you…
Ok, maybe not literally… but figuratively speaking, comparisons will definitely kill your confidence. And if you are one of those rare people who doesn’t scroll through internet pages comparing your life to someone else’s, I applaud you. That is what I’m working towards.

I mean, most of us do it. We sit on our phones, tablets, or computers everyday looking at pictures of other people’s lives… and then we start comparing. It’s just what we do. But WHY do we feel the need to do that? Why do we allow ourselves to feel like we are not enough, or we don’t have enough? That is simply NOT TRUE.

*I wish my body looked like that, I wish I had that, I wish I was doing what he/she was doing.

I am sooooo guilty of this, especially with fitness. I work HARD on my body, every single day. So why do I allow myself to feel like it’s not enough?  Of course, because I don’t look how I would prefer to look…but that doesn’t mean I don’t look good, that doesn’t mean I’m not strong, that doesn’t mean my body isn’t an amazing machine.  Comparisons hit me hard when I decided not to participate in a fitness competition (See my previous blog entry). I would see other women, who lived similar lifestyles as me, who had similar body types… and they made it to the finish line of a fitness competition. So naturally, I had to question myself… why couldn’t I do it? Is my mind really that weak? Because EVERYTHING is MIND OVER MATTER, right?

Everyone’s journey is different and unique. That is what makes us who we are. There is no need to compare because there is room for everyone’s uniqueness. We can all win, we are all beautiful in our own right. Even though my journey may look very similar to someone else’s, I recognize that it is a completely different journey. When people share things on social media, they often only share the good moments… or even when they do share ‘bad’ moments, we still don’t know every single step in between. We don’t know the battles each other goes through on a daily basis or the struggles that were had every step of the way to where one is now.

A brief story I’ll share… Lately, I’ve had the pleasure to work with an amazing trainer who happens to have a super lean, damn near perfect body. And I admire it every single time I see her. I’ve even had thoughts of “Why couldn’t I be built like that?” But that’s just not how I was built. Deal with it. So anyways, her and I have many conversations and we happened to have conversations about different diets and ways of eating (since that is my current struggle). And she just so happened to make the comment to me, “Well, you look really good!”  And a comment so simple as that, reminded me that no matter how different I look from what I may think is a ‘perfect’ body (I know, it doesn’t exist), I AM STILL BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!! And many see me as an inspiration…so I am definitely proud of myself and I know I deserve nothing but love from myself. No comparisons needed.

And I MUST tell myself this everyday. I must LOVE myself through EVERY SINGLE STEP of this journey of fitness, this journey of life.

We don’t only compare looks… we compare LIVES. STOP! Your life is good enough, who you are is good enough. And if it’s not… ask yourself why you think that? Is it because you are comparing to someone else or is it because you genuinely want better for yourself? If the answer is the latter, make the proper changes that will make YOU feel GREAT about your life.

“Comparisons will kill you. You have to look at what you have and be happy with it.” -Kristin Bell-

I’ve got some things on my mind…


Well…it’s been a while… I didn’t realize that it’s been almost TWO YEARS since I last wrote on this blog… my apologies. Sometimes I feel like I’m just writing my same fitness story over and over again. But I often hear great feedback when I do write. And if I can inspire just one person, I’ve done enough.

So… as the title says, I’ve got some things on my mind. Hmmm…where do I begin??

Well, a lot has changed in my life since I last wrote. Mainly, I moved to San Diego about a year ago. And I absolutely LOVE IT!!! There couldn’t be a better city to be FIT in! Amazing weather all year round for beautiful, outdoor workouts makes this fit girl really happy!!! I will say that I think I’ve maintained my healthy balance since moving here. I’ve definitely progressed with my fitness, which leads me to the main thing I want to talk about in this entry.

For the past few years, my mind has gone back and forth entertaining the idea of entering a fitness competition… like, a bodybuilding competition. To be more specific, I was interested in the Figure class of the competition. I mean, I love working out and this healthy lifestyle is working out pretty well for me…so why not try to see what my body is capable of doing when I push it to the limit???

In January of this year, I decided that I was finally ready… I had a vacation planned at the end of January and when I got back, that’s when the preparation was gonna start. I was so excited and so ready!!! (Or so I thought.) I consulted with a few close friends who compete at pretty high levels… and I made my final decision to do it! I found a coach, someone I trusted would put my best interests at heart.

Enter week numero uno… I was definitely excited for week one, the beginning of a serious journey that I was embarking on. Was it a challenge? Of course it was… nothing worth having ever comes easy, right? The first challenge came Sunday night (The real start was Monday morning) when I was prepping my food. I thought I was gonna prep for about 3-4 days… HA! That was funny… I barely had enough food for a day and a half. Ok whatever… this is all a learning experience, so it’s all good. I literally went to the store almost every day that first week because if I didn’t need veggies, I needed protein. It was always something that I just didn’t have enough of. At the end of week 1, I consulted with my coach, as most competitors do on a weekly basis. We had a pretty big discussion regarding the class I wanted to compete in… After that long discussion, I decided was going to do Bikini class instead of Figure. With this change, my meal plan changed a bit…and it seemed like it was going to be better. Never, ever did I think I would have a problem eating a lot of food… (After all, the inner fat girl still lives inside me!) But, I must say, it was definitely hard to consume all the necessary meals.

A few weeks go by, my body isn’t changing the way I think it’s supposed to change…but I tell myself to trust the process because there is a science behind these types of things. But then…a meltdown happened… Was I just hungry for some greasy food? Was I just tired? Was I afraid? I don’t know… but it was a bad, bad day… I cried and I binged!!!! I spoke to a couple of my best friends about it… Let me just say, I have THEE BEST SUPPORTERS EVER!!!! They listened to me vent and reassured me that I was just having a moment and I would get right back on track where I was supposed to be. I shook it off… and reassured them that I would. A couple more days go by and I still wasn’t feeling it… I was time to evaluate what was really going on.

Another friend said to me, “If it’s taking away from your everyday life and happiness, it isn’t worth it.” That right there was the key for me… I’m such an advocate for happiness and balance in life. I took some time and just THOUGHT… and CRIED…

If you know me well, you know I have a lot of pride. Over and over again, I kept asking myself, WHY IN THE HELL DID I TELL ANYONE I WAS DOING THIS??? IT WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER TO QUIT IF I HADN’T TOLD ANYONE!!!

But it ultimately came down to my happiness and my peace. This competition had already taken the fun out of working out for me…and that is usually my favorite part of the day. But now… I had to tell my coach I was a quitter. I hated that… Again, I cried. But his wife, who was pretty much the assistant coach, reassured me that my feelings were normal and that she totally understood what I was feeling because she has felt the same way as well.

So basically, I’ve come to terms with the fact that some may see me as a quitter… BUT, had I continued down that road for the competition, I would have been quitting my PEACE and HAPPINESS. And those two things are FAR more important than a one day competition for me.

Moral of the story: Do what makes YOU happy. Make sure you are at peace with every decision you make in your life.

I will always continue my fitness journey… and I will be HAPPY while doing it.


(I know this was long. Thank you so much for reading.)

I fell down…


What do I do when I feel extremely unmotivated??

Well…this actually happened a couple weeks ago. I’m not sure why, and that’s life…we don’t always know why things happen. I was tired, I was lazy, I wasn’t eating right, and I didn’t want to workout. BUT…I did workout, they just weren’t 100%. I was so disappointed in myself because I was going on vacation and I just had zero motivation to eat right and workout… (So I could look good in my bikini, of course) 😊 This is a perfect example of why we shouldn’t workout and try to lose weight for one event or vacation. That’s just not a healthy way to look at life. We should want to be healthy and fit all the time…with a good balance in life.

What I learned is that…our bodies need rest sometimes. And we must listen to our bodies. My mind will often try to play a trick on me, making me think that if I miss a workout or two, I will blow up to the fat girl I used to be. Logically, I know that isn’t true. However, the complex I have after losing weight can take over sometimes and make me feel inadequate if I miss a workout. Vacation came…and I had an amazing time, even tho I didn’t look “my best.” If you follow me on social media, you will notice that I didn’t post a single bikini pic…and that’s so not like me. But whatever…I was living life! And loving life! I even got my mojo back while I was on vacation…6am workouts on vacation??? Who does that?!?! This girl!!! LOL
We all fall down sometimes. What matters most is that we get back up.

Emotions & Eating… The Struggle.

Are you an emotional eater???

Unfortunately, I am. Some people don’t eat when they have certain emotions and feelings, while others eat anything and everything in sight. I’m one of the latter. The reason I’m writing this (as with most of my blogs) is because I know there are people who can relate to this.

Why oh why must bad emotions bring out the fat girl in me? Because the junk food comforts me…for about 30 seconds. And then I feel bad about it…vowing to never do it again. But, it happens again. To be honest, it happened last week. I was tired, I was angry, I was feeling sad…so I got in my car, got some McDonald’s (yes, I eat McDonald’s)… And then came the guilty feeling. It’s crazy how food can make me feel guilty…FOOD. Really? It’s just food…why does it make me feel negative towards myself? Because I know exactly what that junk food does for me…it makes me temporarily happy, then sad and guilty afterwards. And ultimately, it could take me back to the fat, unhealthy girl I used to be. Lord knows I don’t want to go there.

I get back on track. Eating healthy foods, on a good schedule, working out as usual…and feeling GREAT! I try to remind myself of this great feeling every time I crave junk food. Sometimes I win, sometimes the fat girl wins. I’ve been on a serious emotional roller coaster for the past couple months and I try to use fitness to forget about it. But food sometimes finds it’s way to my heart. We all go through different emotions in life and handle them in our own ways. I feel like learning to cope without my “comfort foods” will always be a struggle for me but as long as I’m conscious about it and making an effort, I cannot be so hard on myself.

Tears fall on my keyboard as I type this, because I know this battle is one that MANY people fight and it’s hard. I’ve had people tell me that I don’t understand their battle because I’m fit… NO, I DEFINITELY UNDERSTAND THE BATTLE BECAUSE I’M STILL FIGHTING IT.  It’s not easy, AT ALL. But nothing worth having in life comes easy.  As long as you keep on fighting and never quit, you are succeeding. Make small changes that will help you on a healthy journey. Choose to change part of your diet each week. Incorporate more fruits and vegetables, drink more water. Find ways that will help YOU…Your journey is YOURS. Do not compare it to anyone else’s.

We are entitled to have emotions and feel certain ways…just don’t let your emotions ruin your life or your diet.



What’s the secret?

Anyone who has experienced weight loss or who displays some type of health and fitness journey has been asked this question a time or two… WHAT’S THE SECRET???

C’mon people… We all know there is no secret to weight loss. Of course, instant results would be nice. BUT…then there would be no appreciation for it. A quote I will always remember, “Anything worth having doesn’t come easy.” That is the absolute truth, with anything in life. If you could be perfect at everything the first time you tried, life would get pretty boring, in my opinion.

Quick fixes are the hot commodity nowadays. Nobody wants to work hard for that “perfect” body. Nobody wants to struggle at the bottom before they make it to the top. I’m starting to see that these younger generations (including part of my generation) are very lazy and feel like they should not have responsibility for anything. Their thinking is…if it’s broke, just buy a new one. Please, please, PLEASE…don’t adopt that mentality when it comes to health and fitness. I promise, if you consistently put in the work of eating healthy and exercising, you WILL see results!

It’s NOT gonna happen overnight. You WILL get frustrated. You WILL want to give up.

BUT…that is exactly when you MUST remind yourself why you started the journey. Remind yourself why you took that first step. Don’t think about the thousands of steps you may have to take to reach your goal…just think about that very next step you must take. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.



When I think about why I have decided to write this blog…I realize that it’s like a journal for me. A release of my thoughts and what I may be going through in life and how it all ties in to my fitness journey. I want to help others reach their goals and be inspired, but I also find this blog as a way to remind myself why I started and why I need to continue.

I’ve had many ups and downs in this journey…reason being: I LOVE FOOD. It’s as simple as that. And I don’t love healthy food. I love greasy, fried foods that are so readily available to all of us at any given time. Being an extremely picky eater has made this journey even harder…sooooo many healthy foods that just make me cringe. So when I’m buckled down and super focused, my diet consists of a very short list of simple, healthy foods. (Eggs, oats, protein shakes, chicken, fish, vegetables, brown rice and fruit.) Yep, that’s everything. I’m not very kitchen savvy either, so that’s the menu I stick with. And of course, when I’m on track and focused, my body reaps the benefits of that healthy menu.

When I first lost weight, wayyyyy back in 2006 (I think), I did it with Weight Watchers. Yep, it works. If you follow their plan, it will work. They don’t have any magic tricks, they are mainly there to help one be accountable. And that’s what helped me. The fact that I knew I had to go weigh in every week helped me stick to my eating plan. Those scale victories kept me going. I made it to my goal weight…and guess what happened?? I went back to frequently eating fast food. And yep, you guessed it, the weight came back on. It slowly came back…but I decided to buckle down again in 2009 when I started my current job. I didn’t want to be uncomfortable anymore and I definitely didn’t want to end up like some of the co-workers I would see who became complacent and lazy. Tried to go back to weight watchers again, I wasn’t as focused as I thought. But I finally decided to eat a healthy diet and the weight dropped off within about 6-7 months. My total weight loss was about 35lbs. May not seem like a lot when you hear stories of people losing 100+ lbs, but if you’ve ever tried to lose weight, you know exactly how hard you must work for each and every lb.

I continue to maintain my weight between 140-145lbs on my 5’5″ frame. I will never forget the horrible mental AND physical feelings I had when I was overweight…and that is WHY I keep going. If you haven’t started, start today. If you have fallen off the wagon, don’t worry you can always get back on!